How To Get Back With Your Ex

Getting back with your ex might seem impossible to you but chances are its not...IF you have a plan. Like anything in life, you NEED a plan. So I'm sure your asking yourself, "So what's the plan to get back with my ex?" well before I tell you were going to talk about depression.


It's normal for people to feel blue after a break up. But it's critical that you don't fall into a pit of despair when you're working toward getting back with your ex. You don't want to make it even harder to get back with your ex by falling into depression. So you have to....


Avoid doing these things:


- Sleeping all day


- Staying at home instead of accepting invitations to go out


- Drowning yourself in alcohol (especially because it leads to drunk-dialing and text messaging)


- Telling everyone who will listen about your break up


- Making any major life decisions


- Frequently calling in sick to work


While it may be tempting to just lay in bed all day watching TV, you HAVE to continue living your life normally. Wake up early, have a good breakfast, get plenty of exercise, and fill your day with activities you enjoy doing. By not falling into a depression it will make it much easier to get back with your ex.


Remember getting back with your ex will NOT happen over night. You NEED to have a plan, without a plan you could potentially make it worse than it already is and then you will have no chance of getting back with your ex.

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

You might have broken up but that doesn't mean your relationship is over just yet. So how do you know if they want you back?


Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
- Makes effort not just to improve him or herself but let you know they are doing their best to make themselves more attractive to you. This includes working though inner issues, improving personal appearance, getting a better job or anything to become more financially stable, committing to spiritual growth, becoming more social etc.


- If your ex wants you back, you can tell because they don't act the same with you, or there being friendlier. There starting to act the same as when he first wanted you.
- Your ex has not formed any new relationships.
- Your ex has kept the lines of communication open and reminds you that they are open.
- Your ex has told you about or invited you to situations that bring you together
- They have mentioned efforts they have made or are making to be a better person comments about what you wear and how you look
- They frequently call you
- Frequently tries to catch your attention or spark a conversation
- Follows you around
- Can't keep his/her eyes off you!


Now of course those are just some of the many signs your ex wants you back. Even if you have not gotten any of the signs listed above. It still might not be over. It could be too early after the breakup to have received any signs yet.

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back - 3 Steps How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back

After a breakup, most people are emotionally unstable and it leads to doing things that only make the situation worse. What I mean by that is they usually want to immediately contact there ex and try to win there heart back.


There is nothing wrong with wanting your ex girlfriend back, but contacting them directly after the breakup is a bad idea. This is because right after a breakup, your ex girlfriend emotions will be running wild. This means anything you say or do, regardless of your intentions, could make the situation worse than it already is.


3 Steps How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back...


Take A Day Off. After the breakup, there's a good chance you need to cool down a little. I suggest taking a day off from EVERYTHING. Spend this day by yourself relaxing and trying to reflex on the situation. During this day you need to think about WHY the relationship went wrong. Once you can pinpoint exactly why the relationship failed...then you know how to get an ex girlfriend back. Of course, there more to it than just changing that one thing but generally, that is biggest thing that needs to be fixed.


No Contact Rule. The no contact rule basically means to have no contact with your ex for a couple weeks right after the breakup. This works because it will force your ex to miss YOU. This will result in them calling you to see what you're up to.


Have A Plan. This is the most effective way how to get an ex girlfriend back. Having a plan is huge because it will help you move in the right direction and help you avoid making common mistakes with your ex.

Top 10 Worst Case Relationship Scenarios... (And What To Do If These Happen To You)

The other day, a friend of ours asked us if people were still getting married because divorce rates are so high-- (One source cites 50% for first marriages, 67% for second, and 74% for third ones).

Although we don't do research in that area, of the people who contact us, they are very much interested in a committed, intimate relationship if not marriage.

So are people getting scared away from making relationship commitments because of statistics and what they see happening to others around them? We don't think so.

While we urge people to be open to making and keeping this kind of commitment, we also know that without the follow-through actions of doing what it takes to create the relationship you want-- A commitment alone is pretty hollow.

A lot can happen in a relationship, especially one that lasts many years, so we've identified 10 "worst case relationship scenarios" and some pointers on how to deal with them.

You (or someone you love) might be experiencing one or more of these right now and if so, we invite you to take conscious, positive steps toward what you want.

Here are the 10 scenarios (in no particular order)...

1. There's been a drastic life change for one or both of you--the severe illness or death of a child, chronic, serious health problems, financial issues like bankruptcy, loss of a job, loss of a parent or becoming a caretaker for a parent. We all know that drastic life changes can play havoc with relationships.

If you've had a life change like we've described, the main thing you can do is make self-care as important as the other priorities in your life.

If you need the support from a professional, be sure to get it. Don't go through your life pretending you aren't being affected by the change. Take action to get the help you need.

2. You used to have a great relationship and now your partner won't talk to you and you feel distant from one another.

It is true that relationships ebb and flow and in order to keep your relationship strong, you need to change and flow with it. But you have to keep communicating to do that.If either you or your partner has "clammed up" and won't talk about what's going on for any length of time, it can certainly lead to the end of the relationship.

Be honest with yourself and with your partner about what you are experiencing without blaming either one of you.

3. You or your partner had or is having an affair and there are serious trust issues.

Trust issues, especially from past infidelity, can completely erode a relationship--let alone affairs that continue to go on.

Our advice--Get clear about what you want and what you and your partner's commitments are to your relationship. If you're tempted by an affair, even an emotional one, focus your attention on your relationship instead to discover what's there. Focus your attention on making this relationship better if possible first.

If you need help, we offer concrete ways to build trust back in a relationship after cheating.

4. There's a conflict of values between the two of you and neither person is willing to bend.

These different values can show up in many ways-- raising children, dealing with finances, religious differences, cultural differences, and so much more. When there's this kind of conflict, one or both people are trying to change each other into something that isn't and may never be.

Bringing those differences into the open, listening to each other and not making the other wrong is where you begin. Then find out if there's enough of an overlap of other interests and values that will allow the relationship to thrive or if you both might be better, happier people apart.

5. Your partner says "I'm leaving" or you have the urge to leave that you can't shake off.

In committed relationships and marriages, a person who is considering leaving usually mulls it over for quite awhile before he or she acts.

If this describes you or your partner, it's important to find out what you really want in a relationship and if this relationship can bring that to you. The quicker you find clarity, the quicker you can make this relationship better or make the decision you should stay or go.

6. You or your partner has addictions that interfere with intimacy and connection.

If you or your partner are numbing yourselves by using addictive substances, it's very difficult, if not impossible, to have a healthy relationship (depending on the severity of the addiction.)

If addictions are keeping you and your loved one apart, get the help you need from a professional. Don't turn a blind eye to what's happening or make excuses. It usually only gets worse.

7. You or your partner is blinded by jealousy.

Jealousy, especially when it's considered "unwarranted," can kill a relationship very quickly. Again, whether you are the jealous one or it's your partner, you need to both look at the problem and commit to healing it.

8. There's emotional or physical violence in your relationship.

If there's violence of any kind in your relationship, don't make excuses for it--it's a call for help. The best advice we have is to take action to get help.

If your relationship is filled with violence, even sporadic violence, thinking you can save him or her (if you are the victim) will never change things.

It's a call for help--and that means outside help. If you are the victim, find a way to leave the relationship until you know the violence has stopped forever.

If you're the one prone to violence, get help now. Don't excuse, justify or apologize your way through life. Take action to stop it.

9. One or both of you are apathetic or bored in your relationship.

This is the silent killer that creeps into relationships and usually the two people don't realize it's happened before it too late.If you feel this might be happening in your relationship, tune into yourself to feel what's missing and what you want. Breathe some life into yourself by finding a goal that turns you on.

Remember you have to breathe life into yourself before you can revitalize your relationship.

10. One or both of you can't heal after the pain of a previous relationship breakup or divorce.

We all carry unresolved emotions from previous relationships and many times, they are worked out in the new relationship. But when the pain of the past interferes with the new relationship--when one of you lives more in the past than in the present--it can kill the relationship.

You can learn to come into the present moment and let the pain of the past move through youand dissolve. It can be a complex process and we don't want to trivialize it here but you can learn to see life differently-- if you choose.

When Your Break-Up Affects Your Health... What To Do

If you've recently been through-- or are in the middle of-- a relationship breakup or divorce, you might not be feeling like yourself...in many ways.

It could be that you are emotionally drained, feel more vulnerable, uncertain, fearful, sad, angry and a whole host of other emotions.

You may also feel physically ill and find that you come down with colds and flus more easily than you normally do. You might become worried that you've developed a serious illness or disease because you chronically feel sick.

Of course, we encourage you to visit your health care provider to check up on your physical health. But, we also want you to know that there are very real physical effects that go along with having a broken heart.

Some people who have been through a breakup or divorce feel more fatigued than they usually do and they find that they cannot sleep well.

Their immune systems may be weakened and, as a result, they come down with viruses and colds frequently.

Others may notice that they gain weight or lose weight after a breakup. Yet others have aches and pains and are nauseated much of the time.

What it comes down to is this...

When you've gone through-- or are still going through-- a breakup or divorce, you are probably more stressed out than you usually are.

You may be struggling with a whole host of difficult emotions and you might be trying to make life-altering decisions and find answers to challenging questions.

All of this causes stress and more stress.

And, when you are tense and stressed out for a significant period of time, your body will start to show it in physical ways.

Knowing that physical health symptoms can go along with the other effects of a broken heart can actually help you worry less and understand where you are more.

There are relatively easy and natural ways that you can soothe yourself and heal on both emotional and physical levels.

Again, we urge you to consult with your health care provider if you have any questions or concerns.

Treat yourself with extra patience and love.

Okay, so if you seem to have less energy than usual, remind yourself that you're dealing with some potentially heavy stuff right now.

If you owned a business and one of your employees had just been through a major life event such as a relationship breakup or divorce, you'd probably cut him or her a little slack, wouldn't you?

Treat yourself accordingly.

Yes, there are probably tasks and jobs that need to get done in order for you to continue to have a paycheck, keep your children and/or pets fed and cared for and your home clean and safe.

Even though there are essential things that need to get done-- and you may be the one who generally does them-- be especially patient and loving with yourself.

Make a list of the tasks and jobs that absolutely need to happen and how frequently. See if there is "wiggle room" with this list and ask yourself if there are others in your family or community who could temporarily help you.

We encourage you to put at the top of your "to do" list regular relaxation and/or meditation time.

The emotional, mental and physical health benefits of meditation and relaxation have been documented time and time again in scientific studies.

You could find a guided relaxation to listen to it once a day-- possibly before going to sleep at night. In fact,in our "How To Heal Your Broken Heart" program,an effective guided meditation especially created for helping you heal from your break-up is included.

You could also look up an easy meditation technique in books or online that you could try for even a short period of time each day.

Make relaxing a part of your daily routine and notice how you feel better and how your physical symptoms improve as a result.

Natural remedies for various broken heart ailments.

While there are scores of over-the-counter and prescription drugs that you can take for the unwanted physical symptoms you might have right now, there are also just as many (if not more) natural remedies that you can experiment with.

These can often be taken in addition to the regimen that your health care provider has prescribed for you and just all of them have little or no negative side effects.

Here are a few ideas to experiment with but be sure to ask your health care provider any questions you might have...

Nausea:

Drink herbal peppermint or ginger teas to settle your upset stomach. You can also take ginger in a pill form. Drinking about 1 tsp of apple cider vinegar just before meals can aid digestion.

Weak immune system:

Echinacea is an herb that can be found in pill or loose form and it boosts the immune system. Vitamins such as A, B and C are also effective immune system strengtheners. Leafy green vegetables and other whole fruits and vegetables will benefit your immune system and your overall health.

Insomnia:

Try essential oils to help you fall asleep at night. Put a piece of fabric that has either lavender or chamomile essential oil on it next to your pillow.

Fatigue:

Eat more whole foods and less processed and high sugar foods in order to increase your energy level. Caffeine only provides a short-term energy high. Instead, drink more water. It turns out that many people who feel fatigued, merely need more water. Take a multivitamin that can address deficiencies in your diet and help balance out stress.

Exercise is also a wonderful way to boost your energy. The endorphins released when your heart rate is increased in healthy ways can also strengthen your immune system, help you sleep better and release tension.

The bottom line here is that, in order to heal from a broken heart, it's vital that you take care of yourself in loving and nurturing ways. This will help you feel better emotionally and physically too.

To find out more, visit www.HowToHealYourBrokenHeart.com

The "7 Most Dangerous Relationship Lies You May Be Telling Yourself"

If we're really honest, we all lie to ourselves at one time or another. Sometimes we lie to ourselves to not hurt someone we love and sometimes we lie to ourselves because if we really looked at our "truth," it might require us to make some choices that we may not want to make.

These lies can be big or they can be small.

In the past, from old habits, Susie has kept some bits of information from Otto so as not to hurt his feelings and it's only backfired on her. She found that it only built walls between the two of us to keep information from him but when the truth came out, her imagined scenario was much worse than what actually happened.

The lie she told herself was that holding back the truth was easier than telling something uncomfortable to someone you love. So how about you? Are there any big or even little lies you tell yourself that might be preventing you from having a deeper connection and love with someone else?

Here are 7 dangerous relationship lies you may be telling yourself and some tips on how to start telling your truth...

1."My relationship will be fine without putting much effort into it."

Many couples put their intimate relationship behind everything else when they set priorities for their lives.You have to decide that the relationship is important in your life and give it the time and attention it needs. As we've said before, it doesn't matter what you say or intend about your relationship. Your actions are what speak the loudest.

Tip: Look at your actions in your relationship and make sure that they are congruent with what you say your intentions are. Are you spending enough time and energy on the relationship?

2."If I focus on what I don't like in my partner, he or she will change."

The problem with this lie is that we truly do get more of what we focus on. So if we focus on what we don't like, we just get more of it. For evidence, just look at what happens in your life!

Tip: Stop when you start to criticize with words or even in your mind. Turn your thinking to what you like about the person and begin to see how your relationship gets better.

3."He/She loves me so I can treat him/her this way."

Very often, people in relationships treat the people closest to them worse than they treat acquaintances or even total strangers. They think that because a person "loves" them, they can say or do whatever they want. We've found that this is exactly the opposite of what needs to happen to feed and keep love alive.

Tip: This week, do something kind for someone in your life that you wouldn't normally do and without expectation of anything in return.

4."I don't have to tell him/her I love him/her and that I appreciate what he/she does for me. It's understood."

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that when we get into a committed relationship is that we can leave appreciation at the door. Appreciation should be understood. Right? Nothing could be further from the truth. You may be thinking that you need to say "thank you" and just haven't taken the time or energy to do it. We urge you to make a habit of expressing appreciation. If you do, you'll find your relationships to be filled with much more happiness and joy.

Tip: Look at what someone special does for you or what they mean to you and say a word of appreciation about it to them. It might be something as simple as "I like your smile" or "Thank you for cooking dinner last night."

5."I don't have to ask for what I want. He/she SHOULD already know."

Most people expect the people who are in relationship with them to be mind readers. If you're expecting others to be psychics, you're in for a painful ride if you're in relationship with them. If you want your needs to be met, you have to tell people what these needs are. You also have to tell them in a way that they can hear them. Sometimes this takes courage, but we know that when you clearly ask for what you want,you bypass assumptions, resentments and miscommunications.

Tip: What desire have you been putting off communicating to another person? Whether it's a desire to have more "dates" alone, more romance, more help around the house, a promotion at work, or a dinner date with a friend, the only way you'll get any of these things is to ask.

6."My way is the right way and you're wrong."

Be open to the possibility that someone else's opinion or way of doing things may be just as valid or important as yours. Just because their way is different,doesn't make them or you wrong. If you're constantly judging, being defensive and building walls, you're not open to possibilities and to the love that is possible between two people.

Tip: Choose someone who always seems to push your "buttons" and makes you angry or you always judge.During one conversation, just listen to this person without judging them with words or even in your mind.

What did you discover?

7."I need to protect myself from being hurt by holding part of ME back from others."

We can be in a relationship for many years and still not allow another person to penetrate our walls of protection. If you want to have relationships that are alive and growing, being willing to risk is a prerequisite.

Tip: Examine what walls you've built to keep others out. It might be that you "close down" and retreat when there's conflict between the two of you. It might be that you are afraid to ask for what you want. We invite you to choose one relationship where you are fearful or get triggered easily and exercise the courage to take a risk and say one thing that is real and true for you to this person.

These 7 lies are not the only ones that prevent you from having a relationship that's alive and growing but understanding not believing them is a good place to start.

Learn how you can talk to your partner or spouse about anything without fear about how they'll react or what they'll say, think or do by visiting www.StopTalkingOnEggshells.com

Is your relationship in the danger zone?

Take Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins' quiz to find out...

1. Do you have certain expectations about how you want to be treated in this relationship and are you often disappointed?

2. Do you find that you are jealous of other people and their relationships?

3. Do you have a feeling of disappointment or failure from past relationships and does that interfere in your current relationship?

4. Do you want more romance in your relationship?

5. Are you irritated with your partner most of the time and do you think he/she is wrong?

6. Are you afraid to say what you are feeling for fear of causing problems?

7. Are you constantly trying to "fix" your partner or is your partner trying to "fix" you?

8. Do you or your partner allow problems to simmer and then one or both of you explode?

9. Do you run away emotionally or physically when things get tough?

10.Do you ever stay late at work or do other things to avoid being with your partner?

11.Has anyone ever asked you why you are with your partner and suggest that you might be happier with someone else?

Scoring System: If you answered "yes" to 5 or more of these questions, your relationship may be in the "danger zone." What this "danger zone" may be telling you is not that you should leave this relationship but rather that you and your partner need to focus some attention on it and learn how to make it better. It may also mean that you need to take some time to decide how you want to live your life. If you answered "yes" to 2 or more of these questions your relationship may need some attention.

Depending on your specific challenges, we have several books and courses that can help you put the "spark" back into your relationship and change it for the better or help you come to your best decision and move on with your life.